I am so bad at this.

I haven’t blogged in so long, I just needed to make a quick post to talk about everything that’s stressing me out lately. I don’t mean for this to be a whiny blog… but I did start up blogging again in the first place as an outlet for all of the shit running through my mind. You probably won’t care about this post. It’s not going to be entertaining, but here we go!

I started school a few weeks ago again. I’m taking English Comp II and Sociology of Gender. Both are 8 week online courses. Since they’re 8 week classes, I feel like I am ridiculously busy at all times! It’s so hard for me to balance my training at work, the gym, and studying for school. Not to mention attempting to maintain a social life. At least I’m keeping busy, I guess while I wait for BAH and sit miserably in my barracks room.

I still haven’t put on a bikini this summer which is so depressing considering how hard I’ve worked for this body the past 6 months! I look great, I feel confident and all I want is to spend one afternoon on the beach and/or in the water with friends and a few good cocktails. Is that too much to ask?! I guess I’ve just been busy with everything, and have been distracted from the normal fun summer things because of hockey finishing up and I spent most of my vacation traveling to see Stanley Cup games and although we lost the cup, I can’t really complain about a wasted summer because WHAT AN EXPERIENCE.

I’m single for the first time in a long time and I’m kind of enjoying that at the moment. I am focusing on healing and focusing on myself for once. Being a libra, I really do put the needs of everyone else before myself and I think I’ve been drowning for a long time. I am going through some much needed self-therapy and I know this is so “white girl” of me, but I’m really trying to sort through some of my issues. I just want to be a better person.

I’ve spent the majority of this weekend drinking and eating shitty food, and I left all of the stressful, shitty-shit for Sunday afternoon (smart thinking, Joelle!) when I have to get up at 0300 tomorrow to go to the gym before work and start my work week again. Oh well. I have midterms next weekend so along with finishing up everything that’s due tonight, I need to start studying for those. I don’t know, I’m just stressed and wanted to write about it because literally nobody cares about this shit. Haha. This is literally my diary except my mom probably won’t find and read this one because she doesn’t fully understand the internet. *eye roll emoji*

Anyway, I’m about to go tackle all of the above so I hope anyone who actually reads this all the way through had a great weekend 🙂 xo


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